so today i figured something out, well i suppose i should start at the beginning. first off yesterday in band we had a playing test and well lets just say i bombed it, i play the french horn in concert band (go french horns!). and well ya so i bombed it, i bombed it not because i hadn't prepared sufficiently but because i get nervous for no apparent reason. i could play the tune we were playing perfectly with great musical ability and what not but i get nervous. i don't get mentally nervous i am perfectly okay mentally to take the test, i just lose control of my body. for example if any of you reading this play the french horn you know hard partials are, for those of you that don't know anything about music, a partial is the different notes you can play on a brass instrument with out pushing down any buttons which is all based on how fast your lips buzz. anyways, because i get physically nervous i lose my fine tuned control over my lungs and therefore can not control my partials which is already hard on a french horn. anyways the test was crappy because i couldn't control my partials. and for the whole day i was distressed because i screwed up on the test, i was disappointed in myself and i dint prove to my band director that im good. i had talked the entire year so far about how good i am and i am i just get nervous so i let him down and everyone else that knew how much i talked myself up. but today i realized it dosnt matter as much for the group how you play the solo as when you play the whole work with everyone. well thats my little deep thought for the week come back again ya hear!
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